The Healing Power of
God through PraiseMany
will not accept this, most would ridicule me to my face if they could.
But in the face of that, God tells me to be real, honest and
vulnerable...
Almost a year ago I had a physical. The doctor became concerned when he found I had blood
in my urine and levels of technical names I've never heard of. He ran tests,
treated me for a bladder infection even though there was no pain and
made it very clear to me I needed to come back no matter what. Over
the next few weeks all the easy diagnosis' were ruled out.
With further tests, the doctor frowned and told me that my white
blood cell count was very low, and he sent me to specialists. I could
tell he was trying to gently convey these were very serious symptoms.
My sister is studying to become a nurse, she gave me a little better
idea of how serious it was. Together with our family history and a
conal biopsy I had 10 years ago, we were coming to the conclusion of
cancer.
After the specialists tested me, they were frowning too. They told
me to come back Tuesday for even more tests and consultation.
I didn't ask for prayer or seek prayer chains, because when God
decides to call me home, I'm ready. It's not that I'm not happy, it's
that God gave me a vision once and now I can't help but look forward
to going home and seeing Him face to face.
I did ask my dad to pray for me though, because my dad doesn't
believe in the Bible. I don't know where he is with God, so I often
ask him to pray for me.
(He called me later, he was all excited and it really touched my
heart, he said, "Jen, I prayed...TWICE!!!!")
At that time in my life, I had just announced I was running for
school board. My future was a little concerning, I was certain the
local liberal paper was going to continue to rip me apart, I was
resigned to being humiliated
and persecuted...and then I was going to die. But I just kept praying,
"God, as long as it's Your will, whatever You will."
I went to my church and began to get lost in the praise. My pastor
has the most incredible music gift,
and when that little church sings, the Holy Spirit floods down and
hearts just melt away into it. And right in the middle of it,
something happened. I distinctly sensed it, but it's hard to describe.
It was like something snapped into place, back into alignment, it
wasn't a sudden lack of pain because I hadn't been in pain. I called
my friend Marilyn when I got home and told her I wouldn't be surprised
if I'd just received a healing.
When I went to the doctors the next day, they couldn't find
anything wrong with me. They didn't want to get my hopes up, because
my kind of symptoms don't just "disappear." They told me to come back first
thing in the morning for more tests. Again, nothing.
They had me come back periodically for almost a year and every time I smiled to
myself. They finally said, "There is nothing wrong with you, you don't
need to come back." They didn't seem happy about it because they were
still troubled. I suspect they were concerned they just weren't
finding it, but could not justify my continuous tests.
Additionally, I had a
small lump under my tongue that had been slowly growing for years. I
knew eventually I would have to get it checked out but I wasn't in any
hurry, it wasn't that noticeable to me, along with other minor medical
concerns. It was a few days after singing praise before I
realized they were all gone.I went to church the next week and
lifted my hand singing praise again. My palm became very warm, and for
the rest of the day I had the oddest sensation around my left kidney
area. It didn't hurt, it sort of tickled, like a baby in the womb,
tracing their finger around your insides. I called my dad and laughed
as I told him, "Either my kidney is going through a death spasm or God
is clearly healing it!"
Over this past year while going through tests, I tried a new church. I loved the one I went to,
but it's not in my town and I long to go to church in my own
community, fellowship with neighbors, etc. I figured the healing I
received probably wasn't so much about that particular church, but
about God and singing with a body of believers.
The different church was a nice church, I liked the pastor, I enjoyed seeing
neighbors in the congregation...but halfway through the service I got extremely
sick. I had to leave in the middle of it, which was EMBARRASSING. Have
you ever walked out in the middle of a service, in front of over 200
people? I pray that pastor can forgive me!
I had a high fever
for the next three days.
I don't think it was that the church I tried was wrong, as much as
God has specific plans about my going to that church. Or maybe it's just because the
pastor has such an obvious sacrificial true heart for God...I don't know.
I only know that God does heal when it's God's will. Other times
God doesn't heal. Like my best friend who is currently going through
chemotherapy for cancer. I
don't know why she's going through this valley, I only know that God
has a plan and I trust Him...and we continue to pray.
I also don't know why He hasn't healed my heelspur (ouch). Why
won't God heal that? Maybe it's
because if it didn't hurt, I'd be on a racquetball court 24/7. Of
course God wants us to enjoy our lives, but, God has specific plans
and I'm happy to give up whatever He asks, I just might not have
noticed He was asking if all my attention was focused on racquetball.
And I praise God that He does whatever it takes to keep me close in
the flock.
Why haven't I praised Him for healing me? Well I do...but if you
truly understand that "to live is Christ, to die is gain," you know He's really
just told me I have more work to do before I get to come home. But I
praise Him with all my heart, for who He is and for Christ Jesus, and
what He did for us at the cross. Now THAT is something to be thankful
for!
~JenT
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