Visions and dreams
I call it a vision, but I'm not sure
if that's the right word...
When I first committed my life to the
Lord, I knew how important it was to forgive people, deeply, not just
superficially, and I knew I was having trouble with that about a
person from my past and a woman I worked with.
I used to drive to work every day and pray God would help me
forgive this woman who continually gossiped and caused such unrest at
the office. I prayed every day for about a year, and I still resented
her.
Then, one day at home while praying, I suddenly saw myself in my
eternal state, in Christ, and words can't express what I saw. Looking
at myself looking at me, as though looking in a mirror, and getting a
sense of what I felt as that being...it was unbelievable. It seems too
vain to try to describe myself.
I would have thought I would feel an incredible sense of love for
people, which was there...but what hit me the hardest was a complete
sense of confidence, sudden freedom from all insecurity, knowing I was
in the hands of my Father. A joy unexplainable and a feeling that I
can best describe as a continuous feeling of being hugged by God, but
in such a deep deep powerful way...I only saw it for a moment but it
changed my life radically.
After a moment I looked down at the feet of my eternal self, and
the horror of it was shattering. It was that woman I'd been struggling
to forgive. She was dead, face down in the mud, her decaying empty
shell of a body broken and poured out into the dirt. The desolation,
the despair, the pain of it was overwhelming. The contrast was
so...words can't express it. And it was as if God was saying to me,
"This is what I have in store for you, (my eternal self), and this is
where that woman is now."
I was so flooded with
compassion for that woman, I realized what was at stake. I wanted so
much to find the person from my past and share the Gospel with them.
This vision has catapulted me into places like
footwashing at
ungodly places. I had such a burden to go into dark places (much to
the criticism of many) and try to reach people there.
I have spent many hours talking to people one on one, sharing the
Gospel as much as I could. And then, one day, my son was sick. I went
and got his assignment for the day. He was asked to draw a picture of
the Hindu Tree of Life and Knowledge. He was to add his own life
"symbolisms" into it. It was to "be a reflection of the view of that
symbol in the artist’s life. For example, the five-headed
serpent at the center is a sign of evil and danger. The goose at
the end of each branch stands for the soul’s ability to take “flight”
click here to see assignment.
I started looking more closely at my son's textbook and was shocked
at what I found there. While I was ministering to people one at a
time, the California Department of Education and Governor Davis were
blanketing our state with darkness, leading the nation in spiritually
crippling our children, luring God's children to atheism, Islam, any
religion except Christianity which was scorned.
And that was when God told me to
write.
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