I CAN’T DO IT ON MY OWN
Hi,
I’m Mark Spyker.
I was born a
twin, 6 weeks early, weighing 4lbs 2 oz. My parents didn’t think I
was going to make it. My father saw me in the incubator at 6 weeks
of age gripping the thermometer with everything I had, he knew I
would make it.
I’ve made up for the lost weight since. I grew up with an
undiagnosed kidney problem, which translated into a lot of pain as a
child. My home was loving, but quite strict which created a lot of
anger in me due to frequent disciplining.
I was one of those hallway kids; you know the type that sits in the
hallway desk?
I remember being one of the last ones to get the ruler on the hands
in school also.
My companions were on the wrong side, all my youth. At the age of
12 I started smoking cigarettes and marijuana.
My parents were youth leaders in the church. At 15 I left the
church, there was no way I was going to listen and pay attention to a
God I was told to follow. I was going to live life my way, my own
selfish way. I was wayward and rebellious. Angry and unforgiving.
I can’t understand, or comprehend the scope of God’s love, even
now. Looking back. I always felt that there was a God. However I did
not believe in Jesus at that time.
I tried other religions, philosophies, studied and taught martial
arts, stick fighting etc. The study of the meanest dirtiest tricks for
fighting was my goal, my heart was heavy.
I know that God tried to get my attention since I was young,
through trials, however I was extremely stubborn. Here is a taste of
some of the "wake up calls" I received.
Many friends around me were killed in various accidents. (one was
shot at 15)
Some committed suicide. 3 bad vehicle accidents, one large mining
truck exploded when I was driving it up north where I worked for 2
yrs, acquiring a taste for hard drugs and alcohol.
I spent 7 months in Southeast Asia (Phuket etc.) doing heroin and
getting into trouble. I was so close to dying through foolish acts, I
didn’t care about my life.
At 20 I was diagnosed with Malignant Melanoma, a deadly form of
skin cancer.
I still didn’t turn to God. I thought why not me? However a change
in my heart started to occur. I reviewed everything I had done in my
life, and decided to start out with a sincere heart of love. It wasn’t
enough; I was still blind to the truth.
I ended up in Toronto with $400 in my pocket, that went quickly, it
was also Feb and cold. After 3 hard years in Toronto, I came back to
Vancouver with my first wife. That didn’t work out; I still lead a
self-centered miserable life. I had a kidney operation. My wife left
me after a miscarriage.
I was still doing Martial arts, heavy on the mean side. I was fire
walking . My friends were still dark. I lived on Main and Powell
downtown Vancouver for 5 yrs in a co-op. I hung out in the scummiest
parts of town, I was crying inside.
Meanwhile I had a job as an operator at BC Tel. This is when God
gave me Fong.
I felt someone stand beside me in the cafeteria lineup, this person
said to the cashier, "don’t we make a nice couple?" Even though she
will deny this, it is true!!
I felt an electric shock and felt and heard God’s voice, "this is
the one Mark!"
Through much persistence and trickery I eventually won her over. I
am so thankful Lord!
We eventually got married and had children however something was
still missing.
I hit an unmarked speed bump in 1999, slowly riding my bike. I was
thrown down, face first into the pavement. I suffered extensive spinal
cord injuries in my neck. I had to have discs removed and replaced
with hipbone, then fused together. I have loss of feeling throughout
my body; my limbs don’t really work sometimes. HOWEVER At this time I
called out loud with a laugh to the Lord and asked "okay what next?"
The same time as my accident my twin sister’s husband Paul was
diagnosed with a brain tumor, he was 36 and a Christian. 2 years later
as he lay dying, and I was shaving him with my razor because he
couldn’t shave himself, I saw his peace, I knew he had faith.
I’ll never forget him holding my hand as I was saying goodbye for
the last time, he wouldn’t let go and I cried and cried. I was being
broken down.
My daughter Jade insisted on attending church. I took her by myself
to Willingdon Mennonite Church. Instead of standing outside smoking, I
slunk into the back of the church thinking I wouldn’t be affected if I
sat in the back pews.
You Can Run, but you can’t hide!!! I felt the Holy Spirit and wept.
I brought Fong next time, we both wept.
We asked God to guide our lives, for Christ Jesus to be the center
of attention. We were guided out to Chilliwack. We attended Southside
church and felt God’s presence.
In 2004 we were both baptized. Thank you Lord. Thank you to my
loving parents, Granny and sisters, who never stopped praying for us.
Thank you to the pastors of Southside for their continued patience.
God bless you all.
God never gives up on you. If a wayward, lost wretch like me can
find peace in learning to know Jesus, then anyone can. I praise you
Lord God almighty for your faithfulness, you are the great "I AM". I
have a long way to go, I’m still breaking addictions I never even knew
I had, negative character traits, etc. I’ll be all right though, as
long as I lean on you Lord. Thank you Jesus. Please use me to assist
other people in coming to you dear Father.
Amen.
Mark
Mark can be reached at
spykersjerky@shaw.ca
He is also creator of Spykers
Turkey Jerky
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