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 When your son joins the military
& God turns you around
by Jen Shroder
August 7, 2011

I wait. In silence. I see so many affronts in the news and I think to write, but I canít, because all I can see is my son preparing to be swept up into whatever war of Obamaís moment and I grieve, or I would, if I allowed myself to think about it. But I canít think about it.

And so the call came, his entry date was moved up, I was to have one last day with my son before he set off. Reality began to set in as did a rage I have never known. An anger welled up inside, I walked through the motions of being a mom except now I was accompanied with an unexplainable fury because something was going to happen that I couldn't control. I found myself in the grocery store holding it in. I didnít recognize myself, Iíve never felt like this, I hurried hoping no one would come anywhere near me.

I drove out of the parking lot praying God help me. I was close to exiting when a woman talking on a cell phone suddenly swung wide into the parking lot, into my lane, almost hitting me head on with her huge white truck. We both hit the brakes and as I looked up into the near miss, it was as if life was confronting me head on. Everything stopped, and God said,

"Trust Me."

When God speaks, all of life, all sensitivity, all memory of the past and present stops as every cell in your fiber listens to His words, and at this moment in time He said, "Trust Me."

A memory of that night on that lonely two-lane highway flooded my senses. My very young sons sleeping in the minivan, God directing me to slow down, slow down, moreÖmoreÖso much that I checked the rear view mirror to be sure no cars were coming upon me from behindÖmore, slow down more, and then the suddenness of four headlights facing me. If I hadnít been at a snailís pace, I probably would have flipped trying to hit the soft shoulder at 65 mph plus. As it was, I eased over and narrowly missed getting nailed anyway. It happened so fast that it took me a while to digest what just happened. And the peace that held me through it. From that night on, I knew my sons and I were Godís. He saved us, supernaturally. There was nothing I could deny Him because if not for Him, we would be dead or so messed upÖ

In future years, when credible threats and hatred surrounded me, when men talked of how they would torture me before they would kill me because of my website or witnessing, I remembered that night. When my precious young sons were asleep in their beds, and Iíd hear noises around the house and echoes of the latest threats unnerved me as things will late at night, thoughts and fears of my sons being tortured along with meÖI would remember that night that God saved us, and I would commit us to His will and go to sleep. We are His. Whatever comes, I owe it all to Him.

And now, in that frozen moment in time with a huge truck facing me again head on, the memory of the almost-head-on years before flooded my mind. I also felt reminded that any of us could go at any time, that every day of life is a gift. "Trust Me" hit my consciousness and just like that, the rage was gone. Completely gone. God saw me completely lost in a rage and hit Ďresetí on my life. In the twinkle of an eye, it was over.

What am I trusting Him for? That my sons wonít suffer? That everything will be full of prosperity and cheer? That all my needs and indulgences will be met as He showers me with everything I want? No. Not at all. I donít trust Him to give me what I want, I trust Him to use my life and the life of my sons in whatever way He will. I am so grateful for His many blessingsÖmy life, my family, my sons which have exceeded all hopes and expectations. Oh theyíve made mistakes, they donít walk on water, but my sons have been a constant joy and surprise throughout their whole lives, including the one I gave up at birth who found us just a few years agoÖGod has been so good to me.

So if He calls my son, my son is His. Every moment we have had since that night on the highway has been a gift. God can ask anything of me and it is His. Even if I fail at giving it to Him, I know in the deepest fiber of my being, it is His, it always was. And all I can do is praise Him.

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28)

I believe Him. Whatever my future is, whatever my sonís futures are, I trust Him. Not for comfort, but for eternity. Whatever we go through or are asked of in this life, itís all His.

And I trust Him.

He is worthy.

All glory and power are His. Praise be to God.


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